At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
