Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
