when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
