why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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