do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
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