first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
