I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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