that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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