he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
