Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
