Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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