so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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