apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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