i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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