If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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