Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If I die, sorry about rent.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
