come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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