You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
