Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
