i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
