Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
