pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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