We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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