i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
