Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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