I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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