if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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