My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My boob is missing a layer of skin
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
