Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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