Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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