Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
