using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
