party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
