turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
