for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
