Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize