dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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