Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize