the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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