tell your sister to shave her snatch
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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