he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
