she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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