rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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