Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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