jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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