can u get pink eye on your cock?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
His nipple licking is glorious
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