I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
