so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
