apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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