im about as happy as oj after his trial
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
