its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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