i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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