For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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