so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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