the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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