Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
