in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
