The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
