can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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