brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
