Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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