I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
