I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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