Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
