Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
