my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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